Why Do Men Cheat?


Discovering a partner has cheated on you can be devastating. You might feel hurt, angry, sad, or even physically sick. But above all, you might be wondering “Why?”

Many believe that men cheat more frequently than women, but the reasons aren’t always clear. If it happens more frequently, what are the factors that lead to it? What pushes a man to make an irrational decision that has severe consequences? Here are 5 possible reasons:


Sometimes, one or both partner’s needs for intimacy go unmet in a relationship. Many people choose to stay in the relationship, often hoping things will improve, especially if the relationship is otherwise fulfilling. But unmet needs can lead to frustration, which might worsen if the situation doesn’t improve. This can provide motivation to get those needs met elsewhere.


Simply having an opportunity to cheat can make infidelity more likely. This doesn’t mean everyone who has the opportunity to cheat will do so. Other factors often (but not always) add to the motivation to cheat. A combination of motivating factors, like distance in your relationship, can make infidelity more likely.


He may feel as if he is too old (or too young), not handsome enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, etc. An astonishing amount of male cheating is linked, at least in part, to a mid-life crisis. To support his flagging ego, he seeks validation from women other than his mate, using this spark of interest to feel wanted, desired, and worthy.


Everyone experiences depressed feelings and anxiety to a certain degree. The issue is whether or not those thoughts come from the relationship. If he’s feeling lonely within his relationship, emasculated in some way, or angry with his partner, it could certainly lead a man to cheat.

Unrealistic Expectations

He may feel that his partner should meet his every whim and desire and otherwise, 24/7, regardless of how she feels at any particular moment. He fails to understand that she has a life of her own, with thoughts and feelings and needs that don’t always involve him. When his expectations are not met, he seeks external fulfillment.

You might have heard the phrase “Once a cheater, always a cheater” to describe people who aren’t faithful. But while some people do cheat repeatedly, others don’t. Working through infidelity can often strengthen a relationship. But it’s essential for both you and your partner to be honest about what you can and can’t commit to in your relationship and maintain open communication going forward.

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