Finding Love As a Millennial – Why Are We Still Single?


Finding love ― and sustaining a relationship ― has always been hard, but it’s a little more complicated for millennials.

The sheer amount of choice present in today’s dating scene can make commitment even harder for a generation who has been conditioned to have it all. But it’s more than that. Millennials deal with a lot of other concerns regarding their love lives that past generations didn’t have to deal with.

Check out this list of the most common relationship concerns millennials deal with:

Ghosting to End Relationships

If we’re no longer interested in someone, we don’t need to tell them — we simply stop responding. If someone did this to us in real life, it would be completely psychotic, but because it’s over text or an instant message, we’ve somehow resigned ourselves to thinking it’s OK. Well, it’s totally not.

Not Showing Emotions

Showing actual emotions is heavily frowned upon. If we show our cards and act like we’re interested, it leaves the person we’re affectionate about turned off and running in the opposite direction instead of being flattered that we give a crap about them.

Getting Physical Too Fast

Being intimate with somebody can be achieved by a push of a button. There’s zero effort made into getting to know someone for who they truly are unless we’re willing to undress and show the most sacred parts of ourselves first.

Planned Responses

Responding right away comes across as desperate and too available. Instant messaging is just that — it’s instant — but we still withhold our response at times to try and show just how busy, important, and unattached we are.

Looking For Perfection

Social media and thousands of dating profiles shoved in our faces leads us to believe we’re entitled to a fairy tale life that doesn’t truly exist. We write people off because of a minor detail and quickly look for the next best thing that we’ll somehow also find flaws in.

Happy Being Alone

While we’ve been navigating the journey to find love, we’ve consequently committed our lives to ourselves and made them into something that’s happy and rewarding without someone to love, which means it’s that much harder to invite a relationship into our lives.

Stuck in The Grey Area

We’re left constantly wondering where relationships are headed, if anywhere, and plague ourselves with wondering if we’re wasting our time. No one is clear about their intentions, some lie about their intentions, and basically no one has any clue what’s going on.

Way Too Many Options

We don’t believe we need to settle on anything because there’s always someone better looking with a better family life, better hobbies or someone with a better bank account. We move from person to person and even if we land on someone that makes us feel great and we could totally devote ourselves to, we’re never quite willing to give up the search.

Not Accountable For Pain

When we’ve hurt someone’s feelings, we don’t feel even the slightest bit inclined to apologize for our wrongs. It’s not our problem — it’s theirs. A person’s emotions, even if caused by something we did or said, is up to them to resolve.

Simply Tired

We’re all so confused by our own past, and with more and more things constantly being added to the pile, we’re all becoming more and more jaded than ever before. We don’t even trust that love exists anymore because we’re constantly met with disappointment.

There is no one way a relationship should be, and Millennials are allowing themselves to redefine what that means to them. The idea is to enjoy and be happy in your relationship, however you want it to be. Of course, everyone is different in their understanding, but most people seem to be incredibly lost in this dating world. The issue is if we don’t come to understand love and ourselves better – our purpose, our boundaries and our shortcomings – we will never be happy. And that’s the truth!

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